Hiroshima

Whenever anyone asks me about computery type stuff, I usually give vaguely the same answer, that it is dead easy and is merely a case of jumping in and doing it. Yet in my time working in the industry it is blatantly obvious that some people simply don't find it as such. I have people working with me now who I consider to be intelligent well adjusted people but just don't seem able to jump in and do anything that they haven't had specific training / hand holding beforehand.

 

Mathematics has always been a subject that I think I have an understanding of, I understand the concepts and have a reasonably mathematical view of the world, I see that there is maths behind everything and that comforts me greatly. I think if I had the perseverance to put the time into learning maths I am pretty sure I would have a great deal to offer the community.

 

And therein lies one of my great downfalls, I see people like Cara who has an obvious natural flair for the whole academia thing, I have little doubt that she will accomplish all of her academic aspirations and it makes me feel good to know that there are people that can do that. However I have pretty much accepted that the ability to do that is not something that is part of my makeup. As much as I would love to, I am totally aware that I shall never experience a graduation ceremony at Oxford. This fact did make me sad for a while. In fact I guess if I dwell on it, it still does but only in the same way that it makes me sad that I'm unlikely to ever walk on the moon.

 

For sometime I have wondered what I would be if I were back in the days of being a hunter gatherer. I am pretty sure I have told you about the fact that I have dyspraxia. It surprised me when I found this out that it is not considered to be a brain defect but merely a genetic difference. Which by my logic means that it is something that evolution decided was a necessary thing to assist it. Now as a hunter gatherer dyspraxia means that I would be a rather lousy hunter my physical clumsiness would definitely get in the way. As for the gathering part I just don't have the attention to detail that is required to ensure I don't kill myself within the first picking. From that I think it is pretty clear that I would not become the Alpha male in any great hurry but then the alpha male would not really have anything to gain from evolution the men who were successful hunters would have little to gain from evolution we are at the top of the food tree where do they need to go from there. To me evolution was driven by the ones who couldn't hunt it was driven by the ones that stayed in the camp and came up with ways to make sharper axes and high yield atomic weapons. Whenever I am in a club watching the modern day alpha males going through their mating rituals it comforts me to know that no matter how good a hunter they are, no matter how many they can slay with their axe. They would never be capable of even imagining anything on the scale of Hiroshima.