Warped

It is a reasonably well accepted scientific fact that men are more inclined than women to have sadistic sexual fantasies than women, and likewise, women are more likely to have masochistic tendencies than men.

For the majority of women these tendencies are reasonably benign, and have little influence on their day to day life. I would guess that a large percentage of sexual relationships have had some sadomasochistic aspect that usually manifests itself as an occasional bit of bedroom spanking or the like.

As with most human fetishes there are extremes, both physical and psychological, there are those who can only feel sexual satisfaction at their limits of physical pain. Quite often the bruises, cuts, and aches being erotic reminders of excitement of the experience. Though of course these bruises would be hidden as few people want to share their subversive nature with those who might not understand the concepts behind it.

The psychological aspects can be equally extreme, the desire to dominate, and to be dominated, is a strong desire for a huge percentage of the population. Although all combinations of gender are accommodated perhaps the most common is the male dominant and a female submissive. Perhaps in its most simple form, the women of these relationships are fulfilling the basic desire to make their partner happy and what better way of making a partner happy than to do his bidding. From that premise it does not take a huge leap of faith to envisage a situation where a woman will give herself entirely to a partner allowing him to do absolutely as he desires, without question regardless of how humiliating or degrading his desires might be – and often because of the humiliation and degradation.

When these two aspects of masochism are brought into a relationship it can become a powerful stimulant. Where a woman can say to a man, I will allow you to do whatever you desire with me, or to me and I will accept that willingly and unquestioningly. I would suggest that every person in the world can feel a touch of excitement at one side or the other of that concept.

These scenes can have considerably darker sides though, as the core factor is to have power over another individual, it somewhat detracts when that power needs to be given in the first place. It is a considerably more exciting concept when that power can simply be taken – I suspect that psychologists would concur that this is the driving motivation behind most rapes – there are a huge number of erotic sadomasochistic stories that involve forced sexual slavery because perhaps this is the natural conclusion of these desires.

For the most part, the people who enter into such a defined lifestyle are reasonably enlightened about their sexuality. They have discovered that this is a sexual desire, and they have set about fulfilling it and are generally extremely strong minded about what they do, and don’t want from a relationship.

So what would a woman do who neither knew nor understood her sexuality to this degree? Perhaps she would find herself naturally inclined towards dominant men who were equally oblivious to their inclinations. Maybe, in the context of sadomasochism she would be lucky and find a partner who took away her power, and regularly punished her for her wrong-doing. Perhaps she too would have bruises that she would need to hide and lie about to her friends. In the context of sadomasochism she would be a very lucky girl. In the context of conventional thinking she would be a battered wife.

Now I’m not trying to suggest that all battered wives are secret masochists. I agree that some women find themselves in terrible situations that they are desperate to get out of. However I have long had the idea that some women do seek out such relationships, because it is what they need to fulfil themselves. In particular the apparent serial battered wife, who goes from one abusive relationship to the next.

It could be said that these women are considerably more honest in their sexuality, because they don’t need to build these convoluted fantasies to show their servitude towards their partner, all they want is to make their partner happy so they don’t get punished.

Well it was just a passing thought that I figured I’d write down. Perhaps I’m completely off target and just being a stereotypically chauvinistic male. But the whole thing kinda makes sense to my warped brain. Guess I’m just hoping that you, the reader of this, is at least a little warped too.